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I like the well-known story of an Indian brave who when facing a dilemma goes to the wise old Chief for advice. “It feels like there are two wild wolves fighting inside me,” he says. “One I know is good and wants to do what is right. The other is not good and wants to do what is wrong.  Which wolf is going to win?” he asks.                                      After pausing for a moment, the old Chief looks caringly at the young brave and quietly replies, “The one you chose to feed.”

I was told this next story many years ago by a person who claimed it to be true; “There was an alcoholic man who fell in love with a prostitute. She became pregnant, and while giving birth to twin boys she died, leaving the father to look after them.

A reporter in the town heard of this and decided to write an article in the newspaper in an attempt to drum up support for the family.

Over thirty years later, the now retired reporter was thumbing through his old articles and came across that story. Realising the two boys would now be grown men he decided to try and find them and see how they were after such a hard start to life.

The reporter went back to the town he had originally written the article in, and there in the same bar his father used to frequent was one of the twins.

Introducing himself the retired reporter said, “You don’t know me, but thirty years ago I was a reporter in this town and I wrote an article about the sad situation of your mother’s death and how your father was left to look after you, can you tell me what has led you to be where you are now?”

Through blurry eyes the young man looked up at him and replied, “Well it’s obvious isn’t it, my mother was a prostitute and my father an alcoholic, I had no choice.”

The reporter spent some time tracking down the other twin who had left the town a number of years earlier. When he finally managed to find him, he discovered that he was now the Mayor of a large city.

After being invited into his office the reporter introduced himself to the well-dressed young man saying, “You don’t know me, but thirty years ago I was a reporter in the town you were born in and I wrote an article about the sad situation of your mother’s death and how your father was left to look after you, can you tell me what has led  you to be where you are now?”

To which the young man replied “Well it’s obvious isn’t it, my mother was a prostitute and my father an alcoholic, I had to be different.”


Whether true or not, this story, like the Indian brave one, is a reminder that our choices have consequences, and though we can’t go back to make a new past, we can start now to make a new future.

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Ouch…that hurt!!!

From a very young age we are taught about looking after our physical health. We are shown how to clean our teeth, wash our hands, the need for physical exercise and good personal hygiene and the like.  All good things for sure.


But when it comes to the area of our emotional health most of us have had very little guidance on how to care for ourselves.


Our physical body indicates to us, via the pain senses, physical issues that we need to be aware of and address. For example, if I have a stone in my shoe the pain in my foot makes me aware of this and I am then able to respond appropriately.


‘As for the body so to for the soul’. Just as our physical pain sensors indicate issues that need attention, so to our emotional pain sensors can also indicate issues that may need to be addressed.

But unfortunately, because we have not been taught how to deal with this type of pain we can end up turning to unhealthy ways to try and cope, and consequently we can find ourselves struggle with relationships, beating up on ourselves and hurting each other.

Much of this pain can be traced back to the sub-consciously held beliefs that we formed, often but not always coming from our childhood.

It’s a little bit like having a drum of toxic chemicals leaking out in the basement of your house.

It doesn’t matter what colour you decide to paint the outside or the wallpaper and furniture you put on the inside or for that matter the car you have in the garage, none of these things address the fumes that are constantly coming up from the basement.


If you have ever ridden a horse then you know that sitting on it and just hoping it will go where you want it to go doesn’t actually work, nor does getting angry and yelling at it. If you want the horse to go where you want it to go then you need to pick up the reins and learn to ride it. In the same way just getting angry at life or just hoping life will come right doesn’t work either. What we actually need to do is get back the reins of our own lives and learn how to deal with the issues that are poisoning us and infecting those around us.


Like the old saying goes;

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.” 

If you are happy with what you’re getting from your life then that’s fine, but if you’re not then I encourage you to pursue finding that freedom.


For many years my quest has been to gain the tools, skills, and insights to find freedom in these areas. I have experienced this freedom and have seen many others do the same.

If I can possibly be of any help please don’t hesitate to track me down.



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Wilting fig leaves

A husband asked his wife one day, “How come you never seem to get upset and yell at me anymore when I do things you don’t like?  “What is the secret?”

Without hesitation the wife replied, “I have learned that whenever I feel my blood pressure going up, I just go and clean the toilet and almost straight away I find myself relaxing and feeling much better.”

The husband thought for a while but couldn’t figure how cleaning a toilet would have that kind of an effect, so he asked her, “How does cleaning the toilet do that?”

“That’s easy,” she replied, “I use your tooth brush.” 😊


A perspective on life I have found helpful is in recognising that in one way or another we all have hurts…and hurt people have a tendency to hurt people.  This doesn’t excuse bad behaviour but it can be helpful to consider that there might be something going on beneath it. Along with that, when we realise just about everyone is struggling with something, it encourages us to become a little gentler on each other.

Now before you read on I need to remind you that these articles are called “Just a Thought” for a reason.  If we all end up thinking the same as each other, then potentially none of us end up ‘thinking’ much at all.  So, here’s just a thought to consider.

Right back at the beginning Adam and Eve were given the opportunity to trust their Creator…or not. They chose ‘or not.’

It’s interesting that when the ‘or not’ ‘hit the fan’ the bible puts it like this:

“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid [fear] because I was naked [shame], so I hid [guilt].”     [Italics and brackets mine]

So now, fear of possible rejection, shame for who they saw themselves as, and guilt for what they had done, had entered the world.  And because we all originally come from Adam and Eve we are also exposed to this.

We seek to cover these deeply painful feelings with things like, anger, food, acquisitions, work, isolation and substances.  However, like the fig leaves that Adam and Eve used in an attempt to cover themselves…’they eventually wilt’.

As God called to Adam and Eve in the garden, he now walks in the garden of our soul seeking to call us out from behind our guilt, shame and fear and clothe us with his truth and love, restoring us to our original image.

Life’s great quest is in rediscovering whose image we were created in and living in the dignity, freedom and potential that reclaiming this image makes available to us.

In the meantime, it might pay to keep an eye on your tooth brush. 😊

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Wet Paint

I think a good illustration to represent what life’s about is the idea that when we are born we are handed a blank canvas a paint brush and all the paints we want and we’re told to go paint something with our life, and then at the end of our time here we present what we’ve painted to the one who handed the items to us in the first place.

What I like about this view is it reminds me that I am the only one who ultimately chooses what my painting will finally look like …in other words, I have the ability to choose who I become.

In this respect I am the artist of my own life and the strokes of my paintbrush are the choices that I make. So, if something bad happens to me or I do something I regret then what I do with that mark on my canvas is still my choice. “My response to that is still my responsibility.”

If we can see our lives like this then we realize we still have the power to pick up our brush and create something beautiful from the ugly mark that we or others may have put there.

“My choices not someone else’s determines my future”.

I read this similar view from someone that experienced a terrible loss in their life;

“I felt like I was staring at a stump of a huge tree that had just been cut down in my backyard. That stump which sat alone kept reminding me of the beloved tree that I had lost. I could think of nothing but that tree. Every time I looked out the window, all I could see was the stump. Eventually however I decided to do something about it. I landscaped my backyard reclaiming it once again as my own. I decided to keep the stump there, since it was both too big and too precious to remove. Instead of getting rid of it I worked around it.”

What I really like about these illustrations is they remind me it’s not what happens to me that defines my life but how I respond to what happens, and even though I can’t go back to make a new past I still have the ability to make a better future.

If you’ve been around for a while, and I only need to glance at the mirror to realise I’m falling into that category, we begin to see that we needlessly increase our suffering when we allow one loss to lead to even more loss.

Another thing with being a ‘little’ older is, you start to realize that, yes, healing actually does take ‘time,’ but it’s not ‘time’ but the ‘choices’ I make that determines the progress towards that healing.

We live in a broken world with a healing God. My hope is that we don’t just look at the pain of what’s broken, but also at the potential of what with the healers help we can still create.